


I hated the dark (until you gave me a hug)

by imposter_synd



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Canon Compliant, Comfort, Drabble, Dreams, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I mean not really jeongin just doesn't eat but seungmin makes him, Kim Seungmin is a Good Friend, Light Angst, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Indulgent, Seo Changbin is a Good Friend, Slice of Life, dieting, felix bakes, jeongin fanboying over hyunjin, to me at least
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29396535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposter_synd/pseuds/imposter_synd
Summary: Jeongin has nightmares, before he realizes he isn't alone.(This was meant to come out on Jeongin's birthday, but I procrastinated)
Relationships: Yang Jeongin | I.N/Everyone
Kudos: 15





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based on Gfriend's Dreamcatcher
> 
> This makes no sense I just wrote what came to my mind

_ There were images. Images everywhere. Where was he? The clouds? Why were the clouds orange? He patted around, trying to understand the situation he was in. Yeah, definitely clouds, or at least that was what his hands felt. His bottom felt hard though, like he was on some sort of marble floor. He turned around until he was on his knees, as he pushed the clouds away with his hands. _

_ A glass floor, he found out, or really, a glass roof. He looked down at it to view an empty white room, with no furniture whatsoever, but a sole person standing at the centre, looking up at him with black thick-rimmed glasses (Jeongin recognised those glasses - didn’t he wear them for a Maknae’s Private Life episode?). He was tan and had a glossy shaved head. On his body he wore nothing but a long saffron robe over his skinny body. He had big round eyes that Jeongin didn't imagine could possibly be that wide.  _

_ The monk pointed up. Jeongin looked up, and suddenly he was descending downwards.  _

_ He wanted to scream, but his voice was stuck in his throat. He liked roller coasters. He liked those rides where you rise to the top and just free fall (and Jeongin's never researched it so no he does not know its name). But this, this was daunting, and all he could do was hold on to a handle (when did that get here?) and pray that he didn't die. _

_ Suddenly, it was dark, before glowing red cracks appeared on the black. Rocks. Lava. Everything became clearer when he was met with miners with yellow helmets and orange suits throwing their pickaxes onto the rocks. He looked around and found a wagon full of black rocks. Coal. He was in a coal mine. _

_ He thought of jumping off the glass platform he was currently on, but as the thought left, the glass platform underneath him disappeared.  _

_ A nurse. She wore a normal nurse outfit - that ugly blue-green T-shirt and pants and a matching surgical mask. She approached him and opened her mask.  _

_ It wasn't a her. It was Seungmin.  _

_ "Jeongin, you haven't been eating, huh?" He asked, he took out a magnifying glass. The concave glass lens of it was orange. Suddenly everything around him became a fisheye's view of the scene, before Jeongin woke up with a start.  _

"You wake up early but you don't eat," Seungmin chuckled as he came from brushing his teeth. Jeongin hummed as Seungmin opened the fridge door to get out some milk. "Have something to drink,"

"Stay is talking about Among Us now. Look, there's a picture of us edited into the characters" Jeongin held up his phone to show Seungmin. Seungmin only looked blankly. 

"They put in great effort, Chan-hyung's looks great," He commented. "But let's eat. It's just us,"

It was just them. Both of them were the early risers of the group and often there were times like these where they were alone in the kitchen. Occasionally there was Chan too, when he came back to their dorms at 6 am in the morning, completely lost his track of time, but today there was no Chan. 

"Iyennie, did something happen?" Seungmin asked, looking pitifully at him. Jeongin smiled. 

"Ah, nothing, just thinking about a dream I had,"

"Oh? What was it on?"

“Hm,” He took a glass of milk lying in front of him (did Seungmin pour one for him?) and sipped it briefly before putting it down. “You were there.”

“Me?”

“You were a nurse, and you were telling me to eat. Like now.” 

Seungmin chuckled. “What else?”

“Uh, this is hard to explain, hold on. Oh, there was a monk. You know, with those orange robes. And there was a part of the dream where I fell downwards. It was scary. Oh and there were clouds. And coal. There was a coal mine.”

“Clouds in a coal mine?”

“No, there weren’t clouds in the coal mine, the clouds came before the coal mine, when the monk was still there,”

“Hm,” Seungmin mused. 

“Do you think there’s a meaning behind them, hyung?”

“I don’t know, I might read on them” Seungmin replied. “But me appearing in your dream probably means you love me a lot,”

Jeongin scoffed as Seungmin leapt forward to pounce on him. “Ahh, hyung, go away!”

Seungmin snickered, paying no attention to the younger.

Two water bottles, thought Jeongin as he saw two clear bottles on the table, unopened. He took them both and looked around. After spotting Hyunjin sweaty as he scrolled through his phone, he decided on who to approach.

“Hyung,” he said after he had reached Hyunjin, sitting down next to him. He then handed him a bottle of water. “Want one?”

“Thanks,” said Hyunjin as he took the bottle. He then put down his phone and opened the bottle, the cap coming off with a pop as the elder downed the water. “Ah, that was nice. Thanks, Innie,” He then leaned his head on Jeongin’s shoulder. The younger, already having gotten used to it by now, shifted in order to make the elder comfortable. 

“You’re watching your fancam.” Jeongin pointed out, as Hyunjin’s slim figure danced across the screen. 

“Well, yeah, I need to see where I can improve,”

“You’re so pretty,” Jeongin mused. “I miss your blonde hair.”

Hyunjin laughed, combing his fingers through his black hair. “Well, too late now.”

They continued to watch the fancam before it auto played to his Psycho fancam. 

"I've watched that one a lot," Jeongin remarked. 

"Of course you have. So have I."

"You dance so prettily,"

"Stop complimenting me for once will you?"

"Okay"

They watched the Psycho fancam, Jeongin having memorized it and instinctively knowing when Hyunjin will come out or what he would be doing. After the fancam was over, Hyunjin clicked the button on the side of his phone to turn the screen off. 

"Hey, do you remember when we went out to eat last time?"

"We do that a lot," The younger argued. 

Hyunjin ignored his remark. "We should do it again,"

"Sure"

Hyunjin smiled and their dance instructor then called them back for another round. Jeongin giggled as Hyunjin patted his head while standing up. 

"Hey, Iyen-ah, let's watch a movie together."

Jeongin turned around to see Minho already collapsing on the couch. 

"You can choose, hyung,"

"I'm not picky."

"Neither am I."

Minho then held out his hand for the remote, Jeongin gladly giving it to him. After scrolling down several rows of Netflix choices, he eventually settled with one. 

"I didn't know you liked We Bare Bears,"

"I gave up on choice," replied Minho as he selected the first episode. Jeongin and Minho just sat on the couch silently, as the brown grizzly bear and panda constantly conversed with each other while the ice bear stood blankly. 

"I'm suddenly thinking of Soonie, Doongie and Dori" Minho broke the silence. Jeongin turned to look at him, cocking up an eyebrow. 

"Because they're both a trio of the same animals?"

"Technically, grizzly bears, pandas, and polar bears-" 

"Ice bears?"

"Nobody in this world calls them ice bears Innie, but anyways, yeah." Minho sighed. "Man, I miss my kids. I wonder what they're doing now. Dori's probably playing with something. Doongie and Soonie would be sleeping."

Jeongin chuckled. "Yeah"

"Is there anything you miss about Busan, Innie?"

"Hm," Jeongin pressed his lips together."I guess it's busy here. I like when my life is… calmer? But at the same time, I like being an idol. I like making music with the rest of you guys."

Minho hummed. "I guess, but I'm kinda homesick."

"Hm," Jeongin responded. "I don't really miss it."

"Yah, why are you so mean to your family?" Minho jokingly shoved the younger. 

"No, I mean that, uh, I don't know how to explain it."

Minho glanced at Jeongin before they both glued their eyes back on the television. “Hm, okay. Do you just like, not feel anything about it?”

“Maybe I saw them soon enough.” Jeongin shrugged. “Or maybe there’s a mood for it.”

“Yeah, makes sense. I was gonna ask if you fought with your family by the way”

“Why would I be fighting with my family?” Jeongin frowned. 

“I don’t know, anything can happen?”

“I don’t think I fight with my family a lot though” Jeongin turned to look at Minho. The older had his gaze fixed on the TV. “Mostly it’s just teasing, or maybe we just aren’t that close, though we’re cool with each other. Or maybe I haven’t been at home for a long time.”

“Ah,” Minho hummed. “Busan is far away anyways” 

Jeongin nodded. Minho looked at the younger and patted for the younger to sit closer to him. “Come closer, Yen-ah. It’s cold.”

“Just because it’s cold?” Jeongin chuckled as he scooted closer. Minho immediately rested his head on the younger’s shoulder. “Or do you want to cuddle with me?”

“Because it’s cold.” Minho replied immediately. Jeongin clicked his tongue. 

“Hyung’s a tsundere”

“Watch the movie, you bad agibbang.”

“Okay, okay”


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how many of you find Felix's dieting triggering, but in case it makes you uneasy, you shouldn't proceed with it, because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable with it. It doesn't go deep into it though.

_ Jeongin looked up in the sky. Grey. Bleak. A crow clucked in the distance (do crows cluck?) as he turned around. A road, another shade of grey, but darker, appeared in front of him. He looked around. To the left was dry soil, crumbly and grainy. To the right was white marble floor, with elaborate black cracks in them. Jeongin ran straight forward. _

_ Suddenly, everything turned foggy. Jeongin gasped before coughing out loud, accidentally inhaling some of the fog. He put his hands in front of his face. He can’t see them. He tried breathing in the fog again. The fog cleared up. _

_ “Innie!” _

_ Jeongin turned around. There was a skating rink - a central circle of ice enclosed by ice rink barriers. He recognised it immediately - it was the first ice rink he had actually skated in, back during their survival show days. He remembered wailing for help, too paralysed to move, before Jisung skated toward him and took his hands, telling the younger to follow his lead. _

_ Oddly enough, Jisung then skated toward the younger. “Come on, Innie, you can do it!”. He took his hands in his own and grasped them tightly as he smiled at Jeongin, his teeth twinkling. Jeongin shyly smiled back before allowing the older to drag him across the verglas. _

_ The other members were there two, smiling at him. Jeongin grinned shyly as he continued to glide along the ice before a zap of electricity shot between his hands and Jisung's, causing Jeongin to let go and slip on the ice, accidentally hitting himself on the ice. _

_ "Good," Jisung nodded his head, joining the rest of Stray Kids. "Now, can you skate on your own?" _

_ A bright white lightning bolt then struck the ice between Jeongin and the rest of Stray Kids, causing him to yell in fright as the rest of his members stared at him indifferently.  _

Jeongin woke up in cold sweat, looking around the room. Their black leather sofa, the TV now off, the polished wood floor. This was their dorm alright. He sighed in relief. 

He looked down on his boy to see a flannel blanket covering his body. He recognised it immediately. 

"Minho-hyung," He muttered to himself, before he giggled sheepishly. He pushed it aside to get up, then folded it. 

The nightmares. Why was he getting so many of them nowadays? 

"Jeonginnie?" Jeongin swiftly turned around to see Jisung, who was in his black T-shirt and shorts, his hair unkempt. 

"Oh hyung, you're up," Jeongin shifted to face him. Jisung smiled meekly before scoffing. 

"Yeah, more like I haven't gone to sleep."

"You should really sleep, hyung,"

"Easy for you to say. Why are you up at 3 am?"

Jeongin blinked, before turning to look for his phone. He turned it on and saw 3 05 with big bright letters. "It's 3 am?! It's really 3 am?"

Jisung laughed. "I couldn't sleep last night. Could you?"

"I apparently did, while watching We Bare Bears with Minho-hyung" Recalled Jeongin "but I woke up"

"Ah," Jisung nodded. "We Bare Bears? That doesn't sound like something Minho-hyung would like to watch, haha. You wanna go to sleep together? We can cuddle"

Jeongin nodded and Jisung grinned. They both headed to their room before Jisung flung himself onto Jeongin's bed. 

"Come into hyung's arms!" Cooed Jisung as he held open his arms to embrace Jeongin. Jeongin then headed to Jisung's bed. 

"Yah, you, come back here!" Jeongin snickered as Jisung tackled him into a strangling hug. Suddenly, they went still, and Jeongin’s mind ran.

“Innie,” Jisung asked. “Is anything bothering you?”

Jeongin felt stupid to reveal his insecurities - they felt small compared to what others must be feeling. But he remembered he vowed himself to start being honest with his members more often. “I had a nightmare.”

“Oh. On?”

"You were guiding me how to skate. Then you left me and asked me to do it on my own before lightning crashed on the rink and I fell"

"Aw, Innie," Jisung stroked through the younger's hair. "It sounds like… like you're afraid of something"

Jeongin chuckled nervously "I might be. I might not"

Jisung continued to ruffle his hands through Jeongin's blonde strands. "Well, if you need someone to talk to, I can listen. I'll try to listen well, although I may not be the best out there"

Jeongin smiled to himself, shuffling to the side to hide his face. "Yeah. Thanks, hyung"

"Yeah. Go to bed, I shouldn't be keeping you up like this." 

Jeongin felt like he should say something back.  _ No, hyung, I actually like spending time with you,  _ but sleep eventually overtook him, his eyelids heavy as he slept in Jisung’s arms.

Seungmin came up to Jeongin the next day while Jeongin was scrolling through his phone.

"I read on it." announced Seungmin. 

"On what?" asked Jeongin as he liked a picture of Hyunjin on Instagram, his face covered in glistening sweat.

"Your dreams,"

Jeongin turned to Seungmin, “You actually read on them?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Nerd”

Seungmin laughed and shoved Jeongin playfully as he sat next to the platinum blonde. “Being a nerd is not a bad thing - it means I enjoy learning. What’s bad about that?”

Jeongin hummed. Seungmin took it as a sign to continue.

“Coal mines,” Seungmin began “signify a downfall; some evil is trying to sabotage you and profit from your misery - schadenfreude. It shows that you’re at the very bottom.”

“Great,” Jeongin muttered.

“Dreams about nurses usually show you’re going through something difficult right now,” he continued “and they can mean someone is trying to help you get back up. Namely,” he coughed. “Me. The meaning can vary slightly depending on how close we are, but depending on the dream, it usually means there’s a quality in said friend that you’re currently over-looking.”

Jeongin looked at him. “So… you’re saying I’ve been pushing aside-”

“My attempts to help you and make you eat, yes, most likely.”

“Man,” Jeongin leaned back on the couch. “Um, thanks. I guess.”

“For what? Researching all this? Because I’m not done”

“No, for looking out for me. No matter how much I say I don’t feel like eating, you still insist I do. I’m not that hungry, but if it weren’t for you, I’d… I’d probably be low energy.”

“I’m your hyung,” Seungmin objected. “I’m supposed to look out for you, even if you’re supposedly ‘maknae on top’, because you still need me to take care of you.”

“Yah-” Jeongin laughed. Seungmin cleared his throat. 

“Anyways, clouds. Clouds usually have two meanings. One is to show that danger is ahead”

“Ah,” Jeongin nodded. “Makes sense”

“The second meaning is that clouds can symbolise the subconscious mind. What emotions are you currently feeling? Stuff like that. White clouds can symbolise a sunny day, which means you’re happy. Clouds with rain mean something bad is going your way.”

“How about orange?”

Seungmin blinked. “The clouds were  _ orange _ ?”

Jeongin nodded. “Weird, huh? Funnily enough, almost the entire dream was orange. It was a pretty recurring theme.”

“Huh. I don’t know, actually” Seungmin pulled out his phone, typing away. “Hold on, I’ll search it up.” 

Jeongin nodded as Seungmin scrolled through his phone, scrutinising the words in a way to understand it and help Jeongin understand it as well, Jeongin speculated. He looked at the curtains, dark blue and still unopened. He sighed quietly to himself.

“Okay, I got it” Seungmin put away his phone. “Orange can mean positive thinking - which fits you honestly - but seeing an item and it being orange usually indicates you look at things solemnly.”

Jeongin tilted his head to the side, looking at Seungmin. “Solemnly?”

Seungmin nodded. “Means you’re looking at things too seriously, or as it is. Maybe they’re asking you to be more imaginative?”

“Ah,” Jeongin nodded to himself. Was he being too straightforward? Did he never think enough? That seemed wrong, Jeongin thought. He decided to shake off the thought.

“You mentioned a monk, didn’t you?” Jeongin nodded. “A monk is a good thing in your dream, usually. They’re a symbol of dedication and wisdom. What did the monk in your dream do?”

“Hold on, I have to recall first, I might have forgotten everything.” Seungmin face-palmed as Jeongin rummaged through his brain files. “I think the monk was… looking at me? And I was looking at him back. What happened, uhhh. Did he try to kill me?”

“Uh oh, that’s not good.”

“He might have. What I do remember was he was wearing my glasses. You know. The ones I wear for fashion.”

“You were a lot of things for fashion.”

“Well, those black ones that I wear to my Vlives. I can take them right now to show them to you.”

“No thanks, I think I know what you mean.”

Jeongin closed his eyes. “I can’t seem to remember a thing.”

“It’s fine if you can’t, we can just-”

“Wait I think… I think I remember him pointing up.”

“Up?”

“Upwards. I was looking down on him from the clouds, and he was looking up at me from this white room. He pointed upwards. I looked upwards. Oh, I remember now! I fell.”

Seungmin raised his eyebrows. “You fell?” 

“I descended. It was so scary, my heart was beating so quickly. It was like the Tower of Terror.”

“Ah,” Seungmin nodded. “I’m not sure where that classifies under. Can I say the monk is trying to kill you?”

Jeongin shrugged. “Works well enough, I think”

“Actually, I remember something else,” Seungmin said. “Monks in dreams are usually bad,”

“Oh wow, great contradiction there, Min”

“Shut up. Dreaming of a monk… it usually means there are heavy dark thoughts clouding your mind. A change will come in your life, and it won’t be a very good change.”

Jeongin sighed. “Is someone out there to attack me or something?”

“It can show feelings of envy. Do you envy anyone?”

“Did you see what I voted for in Shopee? I said no,”

“Well, it’s live TV. You might be lying.”

Jeongin played with his shirt. “What else is there?”

“You mentioned falling, didn’t you?” 

“Yeah”

“Well, I read on this before since I’ve dreamt of falling. Usually it shows that life feels a bit out of control for you.”

“Ah,” Jeongin nodded. “I dreamt of falling today too.”

“Oh. Wanna talk about it?”

“Nah, I don’t want to trouble you by researching it again, I think I can grasp the meaning of ths one.”

Seungmin scooted closer to the younger. “I still can listen though,”

Jeongin laughed dryly. “I remember running on a road. It was just grey everywhere, so I ran straight forward. And then it changes, and we’re in an ice skating rink. Hannie-hyung skates toward me, and takes me by the hand. He asks me to skate with him and well we skate.”

“Like the survival show,”

They both chuckle. “You remember”

“Yeah”

“Anyways, he then lets go. Asks me to skate on my own. Oh, and I forgot to mention, but the rest of you were in the rink too. It then splits. And then I fall.” Jeongin sighed. “Again”

"Wow, Innie," Seungmin said. "Are you okay?”

Jeongin looked at his hands. “It doesn’t sound like I am, aren’t I?”

Seungmin nodded. Jeongin groaned. 

"Not in the morning. I just woke up and I don't feel anything right now"

"Just...call me. Okay? I'll do my best to listen" 

Jeongin nodded. Seungmin stood up and grabbed the other's wrist to as well.

"Let's eat something. You saw what your dream yesterday meant - I'm gonna have to make you eat"

Felix later came into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes as Jeongin put his plates into the sink. He was wearing a light pink T-shirt and knee-length shorts.

"Ah" said Felix dazedly, looking between Jeongin and the sink. "You just ate?"

"Morning, hyung. And yep."

"Are you washing the dishes?"

"Nope," Jeongin walked away from the sink to Felix. "That's Changbin-hyung's job"

Felix laughed. "That's nice. I mean, typical Changbin. Ha." His mind seemed to be scattered as he just woke up. "Where's Seungmin?"

"Brushing his teeth, probably"

"Ah, then… do you wanna go shopping with me, Iyen-ah?"

Jeongin raised his eyebrows before nodding with a smile. "Sure thing!"

Felix sighed in relief. "Great, then I'll get ready. Uh, maybe you should too." He pointed at Jeongin who was still in his shorts and grey sweater. Jeongin agreed. 

Twenty minutes later, they were already both downstairs. Felix in a black cap and mask in hopes of concealing their identity to the public. 

"Ready?"

Jeongin nodded and they both began walking down the street to the nearest supermarket.

They were lucky it wasn't too cold that day - there wasn't any snow, instead a frosty breeze pinched on their cheeks. Both of their teeth shattered, before they looked at each other and laughed. 

"Should have gone with earmuffs"

"Or a scarf"

Felix blew on his hands. Jeongin looked at him and did the same. 

Both of them walking like this, alone, made Jeongin realise that he hadn’t actually been alone with the younger a lot, moreso spending time in groups. Felix was natural at approaching people that way, while Jeongin wasn’t. It was nice. Felix had a comforting aura around him that made the younger at ease.

They finally arrived in the supermarket, both of them marvelling at the crowd. 

"Come on, I want to get ingredients for muffins." Felix eventually said as they realised they were blocking the entrance. 

"Ooh, yeah" Jeongin nodded. He then took one of the provided metal plastic baskets and they proceeded to look for ingredients. Felix pulled out a list.

"What kind of muffins are you planning on making?" asked Jeongin as Felix took two different brands of flour and compared them.

"Hm? Ah, just normal muffins" Felix put one of them back on the shelf before pulling out a third brand. "I wanted chocolate chip but decided to go for blueberry. Would you like that?" 

"Ah,"  _ that sounds delicious, but I don't feel like eating  _ "that sounds amazing! I'd love to try them!" 

Felix beamed as he eventually put one of the flour brands in the basket. "You'll get to try it! I'm planning on baking it during Puppy Kitty School later! Do you want to be a special guest?"

"I think I'll pass that one," Jeongin chuckled "but have fun without me"

Felix took two bottles of vanilla extract and compared them.

"Aren't they the same?" Jeongin looked at the younger.

"Ah, they probably are, aren't they?" Felix took one last look at them before tossing one of the bottles in.

Jeongin noticed how Felix seemed to be doing that for every single item, each time comparing two brands of the same ingredient before putting one in the basket. Jeongin looked at the prices.  _ It could be Felix was trying to save money.  _ But it wasn't until he examined the butter tossed in that he realised.

"Yoghurt butter?" asked Jeongin, furrowing his eyebrows. "Are you on a diet?"

Felix froze, turning around quickly with his eyes wide open and mouth agape. "Jeongin-ah, I-"

Jeongin's face softened as he saw Felix's panic. "I… I'm sorry if it was too blunt"

"No, it's fine" Felix waved his hands frantically in the air. "I… yeah, I'm trying to lose weight"

"Why?" Jeongin couldn't help being frank. "You're skinny already, and the company isn't asking you to."

"Oh. Yeah" Felix stared blankly at the blueberries he took from the cupboards. "But somehow, I still feel… I still feel like I'm not enough. For my fans, for the members, for anyone."

Jeongin nodded.

"I don't make sense, do I?"

"I can understand you" Jeongin shook his head. "I'm pretty sure the members can too. And Stay. Stay can be really, uh, they're slow to catch on things. But they're lovable. They love us"

Felix flushed. "I… yeah, it was foolish."

"No it isn't" Jeongin argued. "I- if it makes you feel better… I'm kinda like that too."

"You are?"

"Yeah. I don't eat a lot, because I keep thinking of how it'll affect me - my face will become puffier. I'll gain weight. Things like this."

"Ah, I get it," Felix agreed. "I relate"

"Great.” They walked forward, continuing to scan for ingredients. Jeongin looked at Felix and noticed his face was tight in distress. “Hey, it’s fine. I… You aren’t alone.”

“Yeah.” Felix emptily nodded. “It’s difficult though. To shut these thoughts out.”

“Yeah. Seungmin-hyung’s literally forcing me to eat now.”

“Oh, do you think he should stop?”

“No” Jeongin adjusted his sweater. “I’m pretty grateful to him, actually. He’s the only one who can actually make me do these things.”

“Seungmin’s forceful” Felix chuckled “but in a reassuring way.”

“That’s one way of putting it.” 

Felix took two bottles of almond milk before throwing one into the basket. “I think we’re done. Let’s go.” Dodging past other people in the crowd, they made it to the queue to the cashier. 

“Have you told anyone?”

“That I’m making muffins?”

“No, silly,” Jeongin took the vanilla extract out and sniffed it. Yummy. “About you not wanting to eat.”

“Oh, um” Felix bit his lip. “No. Not yet.”

“I don’t know if you would want to tell anyone” Jeongin said as they moved forward “but there’ll always be someone who will help you. Trust me”

Felix took Jeongin’s hand and squeezed it. “What if they think I’m ungrateful? What if… they think differently of me?”

Jeongin hummed. “I’m not the best person to answer this. But I think… I think they won’t. I just feel it.”

“Jeongin-ah! Watch hyung do this!” 

Jeongin turned around from his punching bag to see Changbin holding up some weights. 

“Weak,” Jeongin teased.

“Why do you reject me like this” whined Changbin jokingly as he continued to hoist the weights above his body. Jeongin turned back to his punching bag and punched it with as much energy as he could. “Tell me when you want to rest.”

“We can stop now.” Jeongin said. 

“Okay, let me put this back. Then we can switch.”

Jeongin took a bottle of water and chugged it down in a few gulps. Changbin came next to him after, doing the same. Jeongin side-eyed the shorter and his muscles - his biceps were bulging from his black T-shirt, a result of his continuous hard work.

“You’re so muscular, hyung.”

“What’s with you and your obsession with muscles?” Changbin clicked his tongue.

“Not like your stomach”

Changbin put his bottle down as Jeongin retreated backwards. “Ah, hyung, it was a joke!”

The elder held up his fist. “You asking for a death wish?”

“Maybe,” Jeongin giggled. 

Changbin groaned playfully as he rested his back back on the wall. "Hey, did you see Felix on Bubble?"

"Did he post something?"

"He talked about his dieting. Did he tell you he was?"

"Yeah. This morning, when we went shopping for Puppy Kitty School."

"Felix didn't go live today though"

Jeongin hummed. "Yeah"

Changbin released a loud sigh. "I'm worried about him. He's got a lot of pressure on him, and needs a lot of reassurance. We can be there for him, but I don't know how much support we'd actually be with the harsh reality of this industry"

Jeongin nodded silently. Suddenly his insecurities about his eating felt insignificant compared to Felix's. Jeongin had been blind this entire time, hadn't he? 

"And same goes to you, doesn't it?"

"Me?" Jeongin widened his eyes, pointing at himself. "Why me?"

"I know of Seungmin making you eat occasionally. You probably have some insecurities of our own. You're probably one of the most self-conscious members - not to other people's expectations, but to your own."

Jeongin looked at the elder, and besides his sweat-dripped hair was his intense eyes softened with pity. 

"I'm fine, hyung. It's just… I don't know, stupid."

"What is it?"

"Just nightmares. Of things that honestly don't make sense, and is making me feel like I'm about to cross a path towards doom."

"Ah" Changbin nodded in understanding. “Yeah, those random metaphorical dreams, huh?”

“Pretty metaphorical, yeah, that’s what you could call it. Seungmin thinks I’m looking at things too solemnly because I saw everything as orange.”

“Ah yeah, I do that too,” Changbin commented. “I guess that’s why I’m so slow to write lyrics. Hannie's great at these kind of things"

“Yeah he is.”

Changbin looked at Jeongin and gave an awkward grin. Jeongin returned it, before joking.

“You’re so ugly.”

“Oh wow” Changbin rolled his eyes before jumping onto Jeongin. “Come here, let me lie down on your lap.”

“No” Jeongin stuck out his tongue. “You’re so sweaty, yuck.”

“What a brat” Changbin complained. “I work so hard for you, and you reject my love.”

“What love?” Jeongin laughed as he shifted further away from Changbin as Changbin came closer. Changbin pouted. Jeongin giggled.

**Author's Note:**

> It might not make much sense, but I hope you enjoyed it. Will update tomorrow.


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